Grey's Anatomy shows how hard keeping personal and professional separate is with Bailey and Ben

It was Ben Warren’s first day back as a resident in Grey’s Anatomy season 21, episode 4. His return immediately made it clear how hard it is to keep personal and professional lives separate.

We’ve seen Bailey and Ben work together before. We’ve even seen Bailey be Ben’s boss before and not an equal at another part of the hospital. There have been issues in the past between them when working together, and those issues continued with Ben’s return to the hospital.

Bailey made sure that people kept an eye on Ben while he was at work. In a way, it was preferential treatment to make sure her husband didn’t mess up, but it meant that the lives of other patients were put on the line. Bailey and Ben have come to an agreement, but it’s a good reminder of why couples shouldn’t work together.

Bailey wouldn’t have done that for anyone else in Grey’s Anatomy

Bailey got Simone to pull her attention from a patient to keep an eye on Ben. There is no way that Bailey would have done that for someone else, unless she genuinely thought that they needed it. With Ben, she knows how capable he is as a doctor. She knows how capable he is in an emergency. This is a man who used to run into burning buildings for a living. Why would she think he needs babysitting?

She showed her favoritism at that moment. I know that she worries that Ben can go off the handle and take matters into his own hands to save lives, but she proved that, in a way, she doesn’t trust him. She proved that she would put him before patients in a hospital, and that’s not a good look for a doctor.

It’s hard to keep work at work in relationships

When there is a situation that arises at work, people tend to bring it home with them to talk to their spouse. This isn’t so bad for the likes of Link and Jo, who are in wildly separate areas of work. Nor was it that bad for the likes of Owen and Teddy before Teddy became Chief because they were on the same level—things have changed for them, but their military training will help.

For Ben and Bailey, they are on different levels. Bailey is Ben’s boss at work. People like to complain about their bosses at work, and Ben can’t do that. He needs to find another outlet.

We’ve seen it before with Ben and Bailey that they can bring things home from work and their relationship suffers a little. The two do know how to work through things and they are mature enough to have a conversation when the heat dies down, but Grey’s Anatomy reminds us that being with the boss isn’t all that easy. It’s not the label that so many dramas make it out to be.

This doesn’t mean I think Ben should work at another hospital. Nor does it mean I think the two should split up. They are couples goals, and they can work through things. However, Grey’s Anatomy is realistic in just how difficult being married to the boss can be. We need to see more of this, especially as Bailey takes a step back and learns to trust her husband at work.

Grey’s Anatomy airs Thursdays at 10/9c on ABC. Catch up the following day on Hulu.